Believe me: people don't pay attention on you as much as you think

as known as: being self conscious.

We enjoy to pick the nitty gritty (mostly the bad things) about ourself.. our big cheeks, our flat and thin hairs, the eyes are too small, the nose is too big, the list goes on and on.

Firstly.. mostly it is because we are self conscious, but also, maybe, it's the social perception which assume that you are being arrogant and snob if you say some positive things about yourself..hmm, just can't get it right, hey?

But anyway, I was struck with this bought, when one day, I served a customer in the shop. She was a normal looking lady, maybe mid 40, some wrinkles here and there (who doesn't do botox and doesn't have wrinkles?)

She came to me and asked" can I ask you some question but you have to be honest answering that" - honestly I worried a little if she turned out to be a nutty, but I decide that she doesn't look aggressive and I just went on with her. She showed me the dress she tried on and she asked me if it is too short and makes her legs look weird "because there are some skid sagging there". She explained, she just lost a lot of weight that's why she is not confident about her skin.

Oh geeze, I was taken a back with her serious sincere concern (not the type of concern that people say it just to hear other people correct them and tell them not to worry about it), because to me, she looks just perfectly ok. With my blunt way of constructing words - this is my reply to her "If I were you I will not worry about it, believe me you look normal, that's how we should look like"

Maybe that is not the nicest form of consolation.. but I do hope that she gets the message.

That reminded me to not complaining about my cheeks to my husband (not too much anyway) I only will do it whenever I feel like teasing him

Things I would tell my children, if I have one

My husband would comment "Thank God we don't have any!

I was walking on the street and was talking inside my head.. you know how we, as a human being.. are very opinionated till the edge of being nosy and too much on the detail?

These are several things I would tell my children (or any other human being who will not think that I am too much controlling and like to hear my own voice)

1. Being different is ok, never try to make everything the same and uniform

2. When you see somebody doing and being not the same as you do or are..think twice before you mock them in your head.. because it means that they could do it more than one way - more than how you can do it

3. The temptation of pride, class, consumerism, enjoying fine things in life is always there and everywhere.. nothing wrong with that.. but I tell you, being sensible and prepare for the rainy days (or draught days - only if you are an Indonesian) is a must - you'll never regret it.

4. Life is a process.. so don't be surprise if there is no end or purpose in it

5. You make mistakes.. everybody do, and it is ok, as long as you take the appropriate amount of time to mourn over it, then get on with other things, the saying, better late than never really does make sense.. wouldn't want to miss another opportunities just because we were laying on the bed moping on our previous fall, would we?

And remember it, so you don't do it again in the future.

6. On your dying bed, you won't regret that you should have spent more time with the people you don't like, but you will regret of not spending more time with the people you like and mean a lot for you

7. Laziness is the start of devil work;)

8. When you enjoy doing something or picking up a hobby.. don't pressurise yourself to stick with it or trying to be the best at it.. it is suppose to make you relax and enjoy yourself, if later on you are bored, then just change with the new thing which exciting to you

9. A bit of adrenaline rush, worry, curiosity and lots of laugh - that are the main ingredients to be happy

10. I still can't make up my mind if Darwin's evolution theory is clashing with the bible's how the world started or not

We bought a house

We bought a house!

After a long tedious 3 months (not a long time for looking for house, but it felt very long for us), with ups and downs, the argument, the "I like it but you don't" or vice versa, the are we super picky or are we trying to make the excuses of the flaws we saw, the despair every time we saw a nice ad but the price is waaayy above our pocket.

Finally, as cliche as it was, it came when the least we expected... umm actually we did expect it. But the process happened very quick on this one. 

Wednesday night we saw the ad in the website and noticed that they will have their first open home the next evening. So the day of the open home - my slightly paranoid (he would prefer to say that he is very well prepared, and boy he was!) husband really did a lot of great preparation, he called up the mortgage and the bank, lined up the building and pest inspection as well as did whatever he can find about the information of the property, as if we are sure that we will sign the contract when we attended the open home.

So we arrived there and the house (a townhouse to be exact) looks exactly as we expected. It didn't look particularly 100% fuss free and shiny spotless like some other places we've seen. It is not a new building and definitely needs some work on it. But we both like it.

We were the only ones attended the open home. Then after that had some serious talk with the agent to make an offer.

The next day (we still very much afraid to jinx it), we had some problem with the solicitor who did a crappy job and at the end of Friday COB, my husband was even trying to draft the contract himself. Luckily a solicitor who he worked with helped us with his advice etc.. so ppffff at least one problem solved.

Saturday came and we went to their first official open home (they do most open home on saturdays), and keep praying that there aren't anybody else interested and trumped our offer.

We arrived there, a bit nervous, because there were several couples, they look interested and not young (which equals to - lots of cash), but cut the story short, we still went forward with our offer, and at the end of that day, we got a verbal confirmation that the offer was accepted.

Oh boy what a relief that was!

Then the next day and the next day after, we keep being tied up with one worry and another - worry if the building and pest inspection reveals ugly truth, if we can't meet all of the condition of the contract, getting furniture etc.

But the big homework done..now we just need to shift the gear and become an even more boring couple with a brand new world of how to select dishwasher, the quality of mattress, which furniture store not selling us rubbish and charge us gold price etc etc.

Really good Christmas for us, after all.. muchas gracias al Señor!

Retailing

As part of my visa process (of to be precise - waiting on it - process) I am not allowed to work here. So I looked up some volunteering (got rejected by some (one would think it will be easy to work, unpaid, eh?), then I finally landed this job in a secondhand shop selling clothes, shoes, a bit of books and collectibles. It belongs to a charity organisation which main aim to raise money and support for crisis condition, loosely connected to a denomination of religious organisation.

My main job is ironing, steaming, basically checking the newly arrived clothes to be in the condition for sale (no damages, properly colour coded, put in a correct hangers(!), put together is likewise clothes), I learnt to work on the cash register (or till, here as they call it - don't ask me why), have a small talk with the customers (not too much, thanks God), tidying up the fragile collectibles (china and ceramics - oh how it made me nervous as I keep thinking "oh I will break this one, I swear" then I will repeat that again when I pick the next item), dusting - all the tasks you name to keep the shop (front and back - where the staffs work and rest) tidy.

At first, I enjoy the novelty of this job (this is the closest form of "KFC waiter" job which I keep telling people as my dream job;)). Then later on I found my zen in ironing, where my body just react to the routine task (pick the shirt, iron, iron, check for any damage, iron, put back on the hanger, put at the stand to put it on the shop) while my mind was on idle mode

What I can observed from this business.. all the politics, backstabbing, talking behind other people back, nitpicking, miscommunication - all the same (and there I was thinking to myself - gosh.. it's just over some clothes!...second-hand ones!)

Been a while

Gee!

The last post I wrote was in June 2013. So almost half a year ago.. and as usual, my post is work rants, towards other person. That what I always do whenever I feel despaired.

Lots of things have happened and changed over this period:

1. I finally resigned from my job (something that I couldn't imagine I will do one day)

2. I am becoming jobless (for the first time in my life) - and boy, how I cope with it;)

3. My husband and I have decided to start our "settling in" in Brisbane and say bye to the life of possible moving around. Bye bye fancy travelling

4. I started my life here (temporary for time being). Trying to make myself feel busy (at first I was whining of having nothing to do), then moving on to being lazy and was thinking "hmm, can I possibly just not looking for work again, ever?"

5. So far, we have survived through - finding a place to rent and live for time being (where we are still right now)

6. Now we are focusing on house/apartment hunting, had couple of near misses (will tell it later)

7. My husband (hard working man) always does his best to keep up at his job (I am really happy that even though it is indeed a hard job, at least he is happy doing it, and he is very capable at it.

8. Running daily house wife life: 2 days working as volunteer staff, remaining days: entertaining myself with new projects and obsessions - cooking!, back to reading (which I am happy about, but my eyes are not)

Whadayasay, eh.. life goes on and you'll never know what will happen next!

Be over with toasts

This is my last week at work and in this place. It started from last Friday when they did a formal despedida or farewell party both for me and my (useless) boss, who also happened to leave at the same time, the company let me go and for his case, he got promoted, good job (and as he bragged) can negotiate a better salary haha - anyway I don;t hold grudge (or I will post it in different posting haha).

So at one point of the party, almost each of them said some comments about both of us, apparently that's the custom here.

So it was nice,all the comments and feeback from people.. but not for another toast events which happened the next day.. and the next day

Haha, I think I am over it.. really.. just let me leave, quietly and no fuss

When the right thing to do is not the easy thing to do

Yesterday I caught my useless incompetent boss did something which just add the list of his incompetent/sick/ignorant/selfish things he did.

He didn't follow the financial rule.

If I want to be 100% goodie goodie, I should have reported him to his boss and he can get in trouble because of that.

So after I tought about it over night, I dropped an email to him to say that it's not correct what he did and asked him to fix it.

Then he came and just ignore me, call the finance girl to see the report.

Later on, he talked to me regarding my email, with the point of "we have to be flexible sometimes" and that he blamed it to the finance girl.

I feel the anger piling inside me but I restrain from saying anything more, I have done my duty and if he didn't realize I did that to not cause him more problem.. that's up to him

And that same d*ck which got a promotion and a salary increase from being replaced in his position due to low performance... yeah.. world.. you got your say this time:)